The moment a dream becomes a reality, one typically asks the question: What now?
As a child, we have dreams and fantasies of various worlds, characters, or even just things. We dream big and honestly, it’s healthy for us. Some people dream about their first kiss, when they get married, their dream job, becoming president, or other things. For me, I had those dreams of course, but I also had a dream called “not being adopted”.
Let me back up, it wasn’t necessarily a dream, but more of a “what if”. What if I wasn’t adopted? What if I wasn’t raised in Colorado? What if my mom had married someone? The list could go on, but I think you know where I am going with this, there were a lot of what if questions surrounding how I was raised.
Now for me, thinking the “what if I wasn’t adopted” scenario many times a child, it created space for me then to dream about what could have been. I had a list of my family members as a kid, so I would pretend how each sibling and my mom would interact with me. I imagined yelling loudly while making food. I figured we would walk a lot or take public transportation. I imagined I even had a younger sibling who I had to help raise. I imagined what it would have been like living with a huge family, traveling and living out our lives in Peru.
Well that was my dream, for 25 years. I got to fantasize every detail, memory, or experience I think my birth family had. Then, September 2017, my dream ended and reality set in.
You know, people would ask all the time “Do you want to know your birth family? Where are they? Do you talk to them?” and of course my answers varied depending on how I felt that day. Overall, I imagined they were well, awesome, and living life back in Peru praying that I am ok. The reality hit when I accidently stumbled upon finding them. I remember being in shock and laughing, like hysterically laughing, because something I only dreamed of for so many years was finally a reality.
September 2017, my life changed. I sent an email to some of my birth siblings, not knowing what to expect back. Finally, when I received a response, I knew I was walking through a door where there was no going back. I had found them, they now knew who I was, this was the beginning of a new chapter of my life.
Since then, I have met some of my birth family. I have personal reasons as to why I met who I did, and honestly, I am ok with that. You see when you have a dream for 25 years, the anticipation of it becoming a reality brings up a lot of emotions. Not just emotions, but thoughts, concerns, frustrations, joy, fears, etc. Let me tell you, it’s a lot. I don’t need to explain who I met or when I met them, but know that I am still embracing my reality. The reality that I now have a bigger family to call mine when I say family. I have people who love me and learning about it as time goes on that I never thought I would meet. I have family members who sometimes remind me of myself when talking to them. I found people who share my blood, my genes, and my story.
Is it overwhelming sometimes to have a dream become reality? Yes, yes, it is. But for me and my story, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.